From This Moment On
by starchaser022
Summary: Takes place during season 5 just after "Here Comes the Flood". Mer/Der.
1. Chapter 1

Meredith walked into her house after a long day at work. She had dealt with several traumas today and all she wanted was to curl up under the covers and drift off to sleep.

She hung her coat in the closet and threw her keys on the little table in the hallway and shuffled into the living room. She lifted her head and let her eyes focus on the couch in front of her. Derek was seated there. She looked back at him, letting the soothing nature of his eyes peer deep into her heart and warm her entire body. She sighed and sat down next to him.

"Rough Day?", Derek asked knowingly. Meredith Simply nodded and let her head fall onto his chest and her arm curl up around his shoulders.

"We lost two patients and another is still in critical condition, we did everything we could...", Meredith trailed off and let herself focus on the gentle rhythm of Derek's breathing.

They both sat there on the couch silently for a long while. Meredith knew they had a special relationship, so much could be said with silence. The way they looked at each other, the way they hugged each other and more importantly the way they kissed each other.

The Silence whirled around them like a lullaby, that and the exhaustion from being a surgeon took hold and both of them dozed off in each others arms.

Derek woke up awhile later and let his eyes find the digital clock that sat above the television. It was just after 3 am and he knew the they would have to get up for work in a couple hours.

Derek gently moved out from under Meredith, careful not to wake her, and draped a blanket over her torso. He padded into the kitchen and sat down at the table. He let his head fall into his hands and a deep sigh relaxed the muscles in his body.

Derek sat there for awhile, just thinking. Thinking of how happy he was at this very moment, thinking of how far his relationship with Meredith had grown, thinking of how Meredith herself had grown as a person. Meredith was the love of his life and he wanted to shout it to the world. He wanted to ask her to marry him and with that thought he finally let himself contemplate what he really came in there to think about.

--

It was another hectic day at Seattle Grace Hospital. Derek had been in back to back surgeries all morning and Meredith had just finished dealing with the flurry of ambulances that had rushed numerous patients to the emergency room.

Meredith finally caught a break as she made her way to the cafeteria. She spotted Christina a few yards ahead of her and shouted to her friend to wait up for her.

"Okay so, I just wanted to say that I'm happy. I'm doing the happy thing and its actually working this time. In fact, I think I'm actually getting good at it. Last night I fell asleep in Derek's arms." Meredith let a smile form across her face as she processed what she had just said.

"You know what makes me happy, surgeries. Surgeries and traumas. When there are surgeries and traumas I have a smile across my face." ,just as the last word left Christina's lips her pager went off and as she ran to answer her page she looked back at Meredith and said, "Today is a happy day."

Meredith silently agreed and thought, "_Today is a happy day._"

--

Mark Sloane was as smug and conceded as they came. He was never wrong and he always spoke his mind. He was also Derek's Shepherds best friend.

"Man, you look tired, look at those bags under your eyes. Is there trouble in paradise?" Mark said as a smirk formed in the corner of his mouth.

Derek flashed him a look and then decided to answer, "I was up last night trying to decide if and when I should ask Meredith to marry me."

"Oh so your pulling out the big guns. Are you sure she isn't going to dart in the other direction as soon as your bent knee touches the floor?" Mark let out a half laugh at the thought of Derek's big gesture being a total flop.

"Why do I even bother with you." Derek rolled his eyes and turned to walk away from Mark.

Mark shouted back at him as he strolled down the hallway, "Because I make things interesting."

--


	2. Chapter 2

Derek paced back and forth as he waited in the living room for Meredith to come home.

His thoughts were racing. He was analyzing the different repercussions of asking her. His nerves were shot and he stopped a minute to take a breath. And then out load, talking to himself, he said, "She could just say yes."

He smiled at that thought and let his hand find his pants' pocket. His fingers wrapped around the ring that had fallen to the very bottom of the pocket. He had bought that ring some time ago. He had carried it with him everyday, he had let it lye there out of sight, in the back of his mind, until the day came that Meredith was ready.

The door jiggled and this sound caused his nerves to awaken, his heart to pound and his hands to shake.

Suddenly she was in front of him. Her eyes met his, just as they had done numerous nights before and he looked back at her. In that moment he knew, he knew that he had made the right decision. His fears washed away and a deep calmness took over.

Derek walked closer to Meredith and they met in the middle of the room. Derek brought his hand up to Meredith's face and stroked it with the back of his fingers, before gently placing it on the back of her head and placing a soft kiss on her lips. She leaned in closer and gave into the tenderness of his kiss.

They stood there for a few more seconds until they ended up enveloped in a tight hug. They separated and Derek reached for Meredith's hand and led her to the couch.

He sat her down and began to speak.

"You're difficult. You're stubborn. You're unpredictible and I might even go as far as saying your damaged, but the minute you walked into my life it was as if I suddenly began to live. Before you I was asleep, my life was a blur of work and disappointment. I woke up when I met you. Meredith, you are my life and you may be a challenge but I want to spend everyday proving to you that I am worthy of your love. Meredith Grey, will you do me the honor of becoming my wife?"


	3. Chapter 3

As Meredith sat there, looking back at him, a multitude of thoughts flew through her head. She was happy, she loved him and she knew that. But she couldn't bring herself to say that one little word. She couldn't say yes.

Right then and there she came to the conclusion that she was still broken. She was moving forward, but she still needed help.

More than anything she wanted to leap into his arms and shout "_Yes! Yes! Yes! A thousand times Yes!"_, but no matter how much she wanted it, she couldn't.

So again, she was back to sitting there looking at him.

Slowly a tear crept out of the corner of her eye, it trickled down her cheek and disappeared in her sweater.

That one tear seemed to speak all that remained unsaid.

She finally worked up the courage to lift her head enough to meet Derek's gaze. She blinked back the additional tears that had been forming and brought her hand up to wipe away the wet steak that the previous one had left.

When she looked up at Derek she expected to see disappointment, but instead she saw understanding. He nodded gently to reflect what Meredith had observed and waited patiently for Meredith to speak.

"Derek, I..." she trailed off for a second, unsure of how to accurately express how she was feeling, " I want to say yes. I wish more than anything that I could say yes, because if I could say it, that would mean that I'm ready. It would mean that I'm fixed and all my mommy issues and my daddy issues wouldn't matter anymore." She paused again and took a deep breath. "But, you have to know that I'm getting there. I can actually say that I'm happy. I can actually come to you and tell you how I'm feeling. I'm not running away anymore and for now that is the best that I can do."

Even though Derek's ego had basically been shot down before his eyes, he found himself smiling back at her. She was right, she had come a long way, she was trying and his hoping for anything more was selfish. At this realization, he widened his smile and took Meredith's hands in his, "Meredith, I am so proud of you. And I will wait for as long as it takes for you to heal. From now on, I'm ready when you are."

Meredith let out a breath that she didn't realize she was holding as Derek finished speaking. She knew that they were okay, she knew that they were going to be okay. And with that thought tucked away safely in her conscious, she coyly replied, "I may not be ready for marriage, but you know what I am ready for?"

Derek's smile turned into a full fledged grin as he leaned in and teased her with a peck on the lips.

They stood and Derek took Meredith's hand as they headed up the stairs toward the bedroom.


End file.
